It's the End of the World Again
by ForevermoreNevermore
Summary: Second in the Post-Apocolyptic series. Ed finds something he's been looking for since he heard about it. And no, it's NOT what you think.


_Here we are... once again... with the end of the world on our silver platters! Oh noes!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist._

"Gaaaaaaaaaaahhh!" Edward stopped for a breath. "Gaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!" He ran around in a circle like a dog chasing his tail. Mustang glared at him.

"What are you screaming about?" he groaned, stirring the coffee at his desk. Ed stopped running and collapsed on his back.

"I've found it! After all these years of searching, I've found it! Decades of searching and I've finally found it!" He waved his hands frantically in the air. Mustang sighed and threw a paper airplane at him, causing the shorter alchemist to jump.

"Decades my Aunt Becca, you're what… five?" he scoffed. Ed stood up and glared at him.

"I'm eighteen for your information!" Mustang rolled his eyes and took a drink of coffee.

"What have you found? The Philosopher's Stone?" He sat down his coffee and Ed dismissed his idea with a wave of his gloved hand.

"Naw… I've practically forgotten about that little Jell-O stone. No… I've found something much more important…" he said, his golden eyes hard. Mustang sighed.

"What?"

"The Fuse!" Edward exploded. Mustang face faulted and put his fingers together threateningly.

"What the heck is 'The Fuse'?" he hissed. The FullMetal Alchemist sighed and rubbed his temples.

"Mustang, Mustang, Mustang… you're so naive… haven't you ever wondered why the world is round?" Mustang slowly lowered his arm and raised a single eyebrow.

"No, I'm never that bored…" he responded.

"Well, the answer is very simple," he said, ignoring Mustang's response. "The world… is a BOMB!" Mustang felt his temper rise.

"A bomb?"

"Yes. A bomb."

"As in boom-boom?"

"Yes… boom-boom." Mustang sighed.

"Well, what makes you think that?" Edward sighed.

"Well, you have to admit that it explains why no one can go to the center of the world. There's a force field around it so no one can set it off. In the core of the Earth… it isn't molten lava," he scoffed. "It's… uh… whatever a bomb is made of!"

"And what exactly, per say, is a bomb made of?" Mustang asked. Edward glared at him and then ran up to the desk.

"I'm not sure… let me call someone who does!" he snapped, dialing the phone quickly.

"Hello? Kimbly! What exactly is a bomb made of?" Ed asked. Mustang nearly spit out his coffee.

"You're calling that psycho?" he asked. Ed shushed him.

"People," he slurred drunkenly. Ed sighed and ran his hand down his face.

"Great… he's drunk again…" he muttered. "Kimbly, reach into your front pocket and pull out that round thing!" he practically shouted into the phone. There was a shuffling.

"It's a donut!" he explained. Ed cursed.

"No, you idjit… it's a Life Saver. Now, eat it!" he commanded. There was a gagging, so Edward stared pointedly at Mustang. "Who'd have thunk that I'd have to tell him not to choke on it! He's so stupid when he's drunk!"

"Isn't everyone?" he scoffed. The blonde hung up the phone heavily and thought for a moment.

"Well, I'll show you the fuse if you promise not to light it!" he said, choosing his words carefully. Mustang seemed to consider the possibility of a giant fuse sticking out of the ground like a beacon.

"Sure. If you show me the fuse, I won't ignite it," he promised. Ed grinned savagely and ran out of the room.

"So… it's in the middle of the desert…" Mustang finally said as the two of them trudged through the sand.

"You're just now figuring that out? Al and I were traveling through here and I found it!" he said proudly. Mustang cocked an eyebrow at him in confusion.

"Where is Al anyway?"

"Actually, I'm not sure. He's probably in some alley, playing with some cat," Ed shrugged. Mustang scowled. _Some older brother. How could you loose a suit of armor?_ The FullMetal Alchemist stopped abruptly in front of a long, white, stringy-looking thing.

"Here it is!" He said, pointing grandly at the string. Mustang growled.

"Have you tried digging around it?" he asked sarcastically. Ed grimaced.

"Why would I do that? You want me to blow up the world?" he shouted ecstatically. Mustang rolled his eyes and pulled on the white string.

"What are you doing?" Ed shrieked, running over to the Flame Alchemist. Roy kicked him back and tugged even harder. An explosion in the sand and the white string was hanging from the alchemist's head… with Al's head on the bottom.

"Stupid… that was Al's ribbon," he growled. Ed smiled and crawled over to his brother.

"Whatcha doing?" he asked innocently. An anime vein popped up on his brother's metal head.

"Just hanging around…" he muttered. Ed smiled, and then caught the sarcasm in his brother's voice. He quickly snatched his brother's head from Mustang and glared at it.

"Don't you get cocky with me… all you've got is a head!" he muttered dangerously.

"Oh yeah, what are you going to do, hmm King of the Lollipop Guild?" Al laughed. Ed glared even harder, drilling holes in his brother's head.

"You're being more ornery than usual today, dear brother," he managed to say through gritted teeth. If Al had a mouth, he would have grinned wickedly.

"I would say, 'you would be too if you were buried in the sand,' but, you're ornery anyway." Ed growled viciously.

"You better be glad you're my brother!" he hissed. Al giggle sporadically and in another explosion of sand, his body jumped up.

"Give me my head back!" he whined, running after Ed. Ed (who was totally creeped out) kept a tight grip on the head and ran around in a circle. The disembodied head followed. To Mustang, it was all rather comical. He laughed and scuffed his foot, uncovering a piece of white twine. He reached down a pulled it up, examining the frayed ends. The Flame Alchemist looked around to make sure no one was looking and grinned savagely. He had a secret passion… setting things on fire. He snapped his fingers and just as the flame was flying in the air, Ed spoke up.

"Oh… I showed you the wrong ribbon. That's what I meant to show you!" he laughed.

"You're a second too late!" Mustang shouted, watching in horror as the flame ignited the rope and it flew down the rope and into the sand. Ed gulped.

"Stupid hot-head."

And then the world exploded.


End file.
